My Year Ender

" A new beginning is perhaps the best time to say… It’s so nice to know you…

And here’s wishing our friendship continues to grow in the days to come. "

To end the year right, I wanted to make a special entry of things that I should be thankful to 2011.

Workwise, this year has been a generous one. Being the top Specialist in the travel field in the account that I am with is the first achievement I've made in the first quarter. On the third, I was then assigned to be a mentor to the new folks in the operations floor and on the last quarter, being promoted as one of the Lead OIC.

I can't thank enough the people who guided and trusted me. I won't be in this position if not because of you. To my friend, mentor and former supervisor Mr. Renan Navarro, I owe you bigtime. To my damas and friends, I won't this knowledgeable about the account if not because of you. To my former micro teams, thank you for the good and positive feedbacks, if not because of those, I won't be in this position.

To my closest friends, I thank you for the trust and for always boosting my morale and confidence whenever I'm down. I wouldn't have the courage to continue if not because of those advises.

To my college barkada, thank yo guys for relieving me from stress whenever I visit home. I thank you for always being there and for spending your precious time just to be with me. Because of those laughters, jokes, gossips that we've shared with I won't have the energy to go back to work. Thank you.

To the family of my partner. To lola and lolo, thank you for the wonderful treatment and accommodation. To Tita Carol and to her partner Ate Gina, thank you for the acceptance. To Ken-ken and Jayson, you guys have been great eversince. Your Kuya and I doesn't have to explain what's between us. I've always been thankful to both of you for the support eversince. You've always been a witness from the start. Thank you brothers-in-law? And lastly, to Tita Jocelyn, mama of my dearest partner. Thank you for accepting me as the partner of your son. This may not be the usual set-up yet you have accepted me with no questions asked. Thank you Tita, it means a lot to me.  

To my family, I don't want to say thank you, because this word is not enough to describe how grateful I am for having you guys. You will always be the most important people of my life. I seldom say this to all of you, but I always mean it. I love you. To my caring mama, I love you. To my hardworking Tatay, I love you and to my ever naughty siblings,  I love you. I'll always be here for all of you.

And lastly, to my Honey, Ryan Jay. I'm thankful that I've met you 4 years ago. I should say I'm the luckiest person to have you as my partner. Thank you for being there always. I may nag you at times, I maybe melodramatic, I may hate you, I may not call nor text you. I may not see you always but there is one thing that I would always do, that would be to love you. 

I can't say how many years will be added to our relationship, but one thing is for sure, if things will not be the way that we've imagined, I'll always hang-on to that promise that you've made. That you will not leave me FOREVER. 

From this day forward, I'll be your lawfully wedded partner. I'll love and cherish our relationship until the end. Till death do us part. 

Hayan, tapos na ang ka-emohan sa taon na ito. 

New year will be here in a couple of hours.

Enjoy everyone...!!!

Let's start the year with a blast.

Til Next Time,

Diosa

Spell Busy? D-I-O-S-A

" Do the things that you've always dreamed of doing NOW. Don’t postpone them. My dad loved to be in the outdoors, but he was always so busy as a school principal that he didn't give himself that pleasure very often. He was going to do all his fishing and hiking when he retired, but he never lived that long. He dies of cancer at 63. It was pretty wrenching to not only see him suffer so badly but also to realize that he had been cheated out of his dream. "

~ Fred Matheny

Grabe na talaga ang pag busy ko nowadays. 

Last 27 November until December 1, umuwi kami n J sa Leyte. Muntik nang hindi matuloy ang lakad na ito dahil sa mga pagbabago lagi ng schedule ko sa office most specially at madami kaming bagong agents na pumapasok. Pero sa awa ng manager ko, nagawan naman ng paraan.

I met the rest of the family sa province at sya din sa family ko. Kulang na lang talaga ay mamanhikan na sya, chos. Naging maganda naman ang pagtanggap ng entire family saken. Medyo may iba lang na hindi maganda ang mga nasabi kasi sa kakitiran ng utak nila. Si J pa nga mismo ang nagsabi saken.

J : Alam mo bang kumakalat na tsismis dito na mag-asawa na daw tayo. Sinabi ng Tito ko at medyo disappointed sya.

Ako : Eh anong sagot mo?

J : Hindi ako kumibo, wala naman akong pakialam dun. Basta alam natin kung anong meron tayo.

Tinanong ko pa nga sya nun kung anong sinabi ng Tita nya nung mag request sya na isama ako sa lakad ng family.

Ako : Anong sabi nina Tita Carol about saten?

J : Hindi na nila kailangang itanong yun, very obvious na. Mabait ka daw sabi nila.

Natuwa ako sa pagtanggap saken ng pamilya nya. In fact yung lola nya pa mismo ang nakipag-inuman nung last night ng bakasyon namen.

I may not be introduced sa mga katrabaho nya as his partner because of some circumstance, at least the family knows I exist.

Pagbalik naman sa office nung December 2, back to a busy work schedule naman and after 3 days, magandang balita naman ang bumungad saken.

I was then promoted as a Lead sa office. And the more shocking news was, walang time na magprepare for the transition kasi kinabukasan din ang simula ko. Sabi nga ng mentor and friend ko, " Just don't be overwhelmed with the responsibility, I know you can do it. "

A lot of blessings came in this December which I am very thankful to God.

Sa mga taong nagtiwala at sumuporta saken, salamat ng madami. Hindi kayo mabibigo.

Parang Oscars Award lang ang statement ko.

I'll write more entries sa mga recent events pag naayos ko na ang schedule ko.

To everyone, mauna na akong bumati.

" MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. "

Til Next Time,

Diosa

Just This Christmas

" Remember this December, that love weighs more than gold and the best gift that I can have is you. "

Last thursday nagkita kami ni J. After my shift diretso na ako sa kanila. Nakakaloka pa naman nung araw na yun, alas-sais ng gabi ang out ko, maulan at rush hour na. Perfect to be called effort talaga ang pagpunta ako. Sa may Fifth Avenue na kami nagkita para malapit lang sa sakayan ko pag-uwi at sa kanila. Di na din ako dumiretso sa kanila wala naman ang mama nya dun. First time naming mag-date na sa Jollibee and kinainan. How awkward the way people looked at us when he approached me parang di makaapaniwala. 

Medyo matagal kaming di nagkita, almost a month na puro sa text at tawag lang kami nagkakausap. 

J : Anong bago sa'yo liban sa buhok mong mahaba. Nga pala bagay sa'yo.

Pag-uumpisa nya sa usapan.

Me : Wala naman lagi lang pagod sa trabaho. Eh ikaw? Anong pinagka-kaabalahan mo?

J : Ito laging nagbababad sa gym. Alam mo na, ito nga o lumalaki na bicep ko.

Sabay pinakita ang braso nya. Dati kasi payat sya at ngayon, lalo na pag-nakasuot sya ng pang-opisina nya, the guy i used to know is now a dignified man.

Me : Naku, huwag mong ipakita saken yan. Baka matakam ako at makapag-check-in tayo bigla.

Natawa sya sa biro ko. 

J : Ang tagal na natin noh? Mahigit apat na taon. Kasi isang taon din tayo nawalan ng communication.

Me : Oo nga eh, ikaw kasi bigla ka na lang nawala.

J : Hindi naman, naguluhan lang ako nung time na yun. Hindi ko naman alam na mamahalin din kita na hindi dapat nung una. Pero napag-isip-isip ko din na wala namang mali. Isa pa, naging okay na kayo ni Lola diba?

Me : Nag-aantay lang naman ako nun ng paliwanag.

J : Alam mo naman na sa lahat ng naging karelasyon ko, tayong dalawa lang ang nagkabalikan. 

Hindi ko alam kong ikatutuwa ko ang mga naririnig ko pero it was heart warming knowing your man did at least love you at least sa alam ko. Binago ko nalang ang usapan.

Me : Kumusta na kayo ng girlfriend mo ngayon?

J : Ayun, sinabihan nya nga ako na gusto ng magka-apo ng papa nya. Next year nga aalis na yun papuntang States at isasama nya daw ako. Sabi ko ayoko nandito pamilya ko. Isa pa wala pa sa isip ko yun.

Me : Of course kasi ako ang pakakasalan mo.

Biro ko sa kanya to make the mood a bit lighter. 

Me : J, diba sabi mo saken dati magiging masaya ka kung makakahanap na ako ng iba?

J : Oo, bakit may iba na ba?

Me : Wala naman, pero may gusto ako ngayon kasi mabait sya saken. Pero hindi kami.

J : Ganun ba? Pero dapat makilala ko sya para alam nya pag-magkasama tayo.

Me : Hindi naman yata pwede yun. Pag may iba na ako, hindi na pwede ang ganito syempre uunahin ko muna sya.

Bigla syang nalungkot nung sinabi ko yun.

J : Ikaw bahala? Di kita pipigilan.

Me : Ano ba talaga kasi ako ngayon sa'yo? Nagbibilang tayo ng taon hindi ko naman alam kong tayo?

J : Ayoko kasing tawagin kang karelasyon kasi may katapusan yun at ayokong mangyaring dumating yun.

Hindi ko alam kong ikatutuwa ko ang lahat ng sinabi nya o ikagugulo lalo ng isipan ko. 

Me : Gusto mo bang umiwas na lang ako? Napaka-redundant na kasi nito, bakla na nga ako kabit pa?

Natawa sya sa statement ko.

Me : Although hindi naman kabit kasi ako ang nauna.

Paglilinaw ko sa kanya. Napangiti  sya para mawala ang tension ng usapan. Naikwento ko sa kanya si G.

J : Ikaw? Kung ako ang tatanungin mo kung saan ka masaya pero dapat ipapakilala mo sya saken. Pero mas maganda sana na huwag ka nalang maghanap ng iba, hindi ka na ba kuntento saken?

At binigyan pa ako ng nakakalokong ngiti.


Me : Hindi naman sa ganun, kaya nga tinatanong kita.
J : Huwag na.


The night went on talking about how we both are doing in our jobs and he sent me home at around 10 PM. 

Don't get me wrong dear readers. Wala akong intensyon na mamangka sa dalawang ilog. Ang hirap kaya magsagwan. Gusto ko lang magbawas ng mga dinadala ko baka sakaling pag may bakante na, makapag-isip na ako ng tama. Mahirap talagang kumawala sa bagay na nasanay ka na at yun si J pero hanggang kailan naman 'to? Alam ko mahal ko sya, walang duda dun, ang paulit-ulit ko lang na tinatanong sa sarili ko " Gaano ko sya kamahal? Gaya parin ba ng dati na handa kong gawin ang lahat para sa kanya? " at sya " Mahal nya pa din kaya ako gaya ng dati? "

Si G naman has been a special person. Yung tipong crush na syang nagpapangiti sa'yo makita mo lang sya. Yung taong kahit gaano pa kasama ang araw mo, lapitan ka lang, okay na ang lahat. Ayokong magsalita ng tapos, bahala na. This life is all about taking risk anyway.

Ayokong ikumpara ang dalawang taong ito kasi magkaiba sila nga papel sa buhay ko. 

Siguro malapit na ang pasko, hindi naman masama ang humiling kahit kunti lang.

I just want to have a clear line drawn and meant to be there forever between me and J. Hindi naman siguro ikakabawas ng yaman ng mundo ang hiling ko na 'to. 

Kung sakali mang magpapatuloy pa 'to, isa lang ang kundisyon ko, ayoko na ng may kahati kahit ngayong pasko lang.

New year is fast approaching at sana naman bago dumating ang susunod na taon, natapos ko ng tuldukan lahat ng dapat para sa taong ito. And I mean to follow it for the rest of my life.

Til Next Time,

Diosa